Having a baby, the things they don't tell you.

At 1.5 weeks postpartum, I've realized there are quite a few things (good and bad!) that no one ever seems to tell you about having a baby, so I've decided to start a list! Feel free to add to the list in the comments section!

Labor and delivery:

1. You don't really see the actual doctor often, it's mostly just you and your nurse. Make sure you like your nurse, you want to feel comfortable with them. (I loved my nurse, Keely!) If you don't feel comfortable with your nurse, consider asking for a new nurse, however, give them a chance, some nurses take some time to warm up to!

2. You can't eat while in labor (besides popsicles and chicken broth), eat before you go in!

3. If you are even considering the epidural, sign the consent form before you're in the heat of labor! By the time I decided I wanted it there was no way I could have signed a piece of paper!

4. Being in labor can make you shake (like full body convulsions), this is totally normal.

5. You might throw up while in labor. It's ok, just let your nurse know you're feeling nauseated, they'll hold a bag for you.

6. Getting an epidural hurts, but it sets in pretty fast.

7. Things won't go exactly as planned. Find peace with that before giving birth and it'll be a lot more enjoyable.

8. You will probably poop while pushing, you probably won't even know it.

9. During pushing, the doctor will probably use a finger to stretch out the hole around the head. This hurts, but it means you're close!

10. Even with an epidural, pushing hurts.

11. The moment they put your baby up on your chest is indescribable.

Postpartum

1. All the stuff in baby crib they use (receiving blankets, burp cloths, diapers, etc.) are free game, take them.

2. Breastfeeding causes menstrual-like cramps.

3. Breastfeeding is hard and is a lot of trouble shooting. You will figure one thing out and a whole new problem will come up.

4. Get a lot of disposable breast pads (the reusable don't work as well), you will leak A LOT once your milk comes in.

5. Personally, I think the recovery is worse than the actual birth. You'll probably be in significant pain for days.

6. I promise the pain will get better (I think I started feeling noticeably better around day 5).

7. If you're in a lot of pain, ask your nurses for stronger pain meds (they can even give you a prescription to take home).

8. Take your stool softener. After your first few bowel movements, continue to take the stool softener.

9. No matter how prepared you feel, there will be a time when you feel like you don't know what you're doing. I promise you and your baby will be ok!

10. Babies smile in their sleep. It is the cutest thing ever.

11. Postpartum depression doesn't necessarily mean you'll feel sad (although it might!). For me I felt apathetic and cried at the drop of a hat. Talk with your spouse about how you feel, it really helps to just acknowledge it!

12. You will probably receive a lot of unsolicited parenting advice. The most gracious response I've come up with so far is "This is what my husband and I have decided is best for our family".

13. Paper plates, bowls, cups, and silverware are a lifesaver when you're at home. Nobody wants to be doing dishes those first few days...

All in all, having a baby is hard, but it is SO worth it!

Ilyana Noel Marzen

(I realize this post is a bit delayed, but having a baby is time consuming!)

Ilyana Noel Marzen was born Saturday February 21st 2015 at 6:58pm. She weighed 6 lbs. 5 oz. and measured 19 in. long. She is perfect in every way! Here's her birth story...

Saturday morning I woke up around 7 and was laying in bed thinking about how I felt very overwhelmed with the idea of going to church the next day. If we went, people would be pestering us about when we were going to have this baby, but if we stayed home we would be receiving texts and calls all day asking if we missed because we were in labor! After some prayer and meditation thinking about how God is our protector I drifted back to sleep until around 8 o'clock. Around 8 I felt a small amount of fluid leak out, at first I just figured it was some weird pregnancy thing (there's a lot going on down there when you're 39 weeks pregnant!), but when I got up to go to the bathroom there was a huge gush of fluid! At this point I knew, this was either my water breaking or my bladder had exploded (either way, it was time to go to the hospital). Before rushing off to the bathroom, I turned to Jake and said something along the lines of "Uh, Jake, I think my water just broke.". He woke right up and was very excited (who gets a full night of sleep before going into labor?!). After showering and eating some breakfast we headed off to the hospital. Around 9 o'clock they checked to see if my water had broke and knew right away that it was indeed my water. They checked my cervix at this point and I was dilated to 3.5 cm, 100% effaced, and her head was at 0 station. After they admitted us and set us up in our room they suggested we walk the halls a bit to see if we could get some contractions started (at this point I wasn't feeling any). Around 12:30 I still wasn't feeling much besides the occasional mild contraction and the doctors were planning to re-access around 1 o'clock to decide if I needed pitocin (a drug that brings on strong contractions, which I really didn't want!) so we decided to give our essential oils a try and rubbed some Joy (which has jasmine oil in it) on my stomach and ankles. Within minutes I started feeling mild but consistent contractions! Around 1 o'clock they were glad to see that I was starting to contract, however, if I wasn't progressing (which they thought was likely since the contractions were so mild) they were strongly considering the pitocin. But when they checked me I was already dilated to 5 cm! After getting checked, contractions started to really pick up and become closer together and more painful so I decided to get into the whirlpool bathtub to try to help ease some of the back labor pain. At this point, I really didn't have any sense of time. It seemed to me that only about 10 minutes had passed when in reality it had been closer to about 30-45 minutes before I was telling (begging) Jake to tell a nurse to get me an epidural. The back labor at this point was just too much to handle. I wasn't even aware of when I was having contractions because the back labor was so intense. As Jake went to go call our nurse, I was sitting (writhing) in the bathtub when all of the sudden the whirlpool jets turned on for no reason. I think I was just overwhelmed by the loud noise on top of everything my body was going through and I started yelling at them as I tried to find the button to turn them off! This was the point that I really started to break down emotionally. Around 3:00 I was finally out of the tub, gowned, and back in the hospital bed. As they waited for the anesthesiologist to arrive, they checked my cervix again and I was still at 5 cm, but her head had moved down to +1 station. Finally the anesthesiologist arrived and I was able to get an epidural (thank God I had listened to my nurse that morning and signed the consent forms for the epidural "just in case". There was no way at this point that I could have signed anything.). For those of you who don't know, I HATE needles, so a large needle going into my back was a pretty horrible experience. Before they can put in the actual epidural they have to give you a shot in the back to help numb your back. This was probably the worst part of labor for me. I was already in excruciating pain from the back labor and contractions, the shot was extremely painful, I was thinking about the large needle in my back, and I had the anesthesiologist yelling at me to calm down (You calm down, buddy! You aren't the one in labor with a large needle in your back!)! Finally, I was able to calm down enough that they were able to get the epidural in and the pain started to diminish. Around 4:00, once the epidural had set in, they checked me again and I was at 8 cm. Apparently the relaxation the epidural gave was exactly what my body needed. The plan at this point was to check me again around 6:00 so I watched a movie while Jake finished writing a paper, it was great! Around 5:30 I started to notice some added pressure 'down there' and felt like I wanted to push. A little after 6 the doctor finally came in to check me and confirmed that I was indeed at 10 cm and her head was down far enough that she could probably see it if she cheated. At 6:19 it was time to start pushing! The first 20 minutes or so the pushing wasn't too bad, just some mild discomfort with the pressure down there. After that, the pressure started to get pretty painful so I don't really remember much. According to Jake, Dr. Lyons (the doctor who delivered her, who was spectacular, by the way) got to the room a little after 6:50. I remember opening my eyes long enough to see she was there and seeing that she had a scalpel. which I quickly put out of my mind (Jake said she never actually used it though). After several minutes the pressure was to the point that I felt like I couldn't do it any longer when all of the sudden a push felt REALLY good and they were putting a baby up on my chest! I couldn't believe it! After 39 minutes of pushing, she was finally here! After a minute or two on my chest she was still pretty purple so they took her for a minute to give her a little oxygen (she pinked up right away after that!), clean her up, and check her weight and height. Finally they brought her back and I was able to hold and cuddle my little girl! Even though my labor didn't go exactly according to my plan, I wouldn't change a thing about it (besides things I couldn't control, like the pain, etc)!

Ilyana has been the most perfect baby. She's absolutely beautiful and Jake and I are just so in love with her! I thank God everyday for entrusting us with His beautiful creation!

Come on Ilyana, you can do it!

Here we are at 38 weeks pregnant and I'm understanding more and more just how much of an understatement it is to say a woman gets "uncomfortable" near the end of pregnancy! Walking (waddling), moving, coughing, laughing, rolling over, it all hurts! My feet and ankles have swollen to monstrous proportions (which sometimes can be a sign of pre-eclampsia, but my blood pressure has been excellent) and they hurt to walk on! At my appointment this morning, my doctor wasn't fond of how swollen my feet were getting so she decided to strip my membranes in hopes that I'll go into labor. Membrane stripping is essentially where the doctor separates the amniotic sack from the wall of the cervix. This can cause the body to release prostaglandins which makes the body go into labor. Membrane stripping is supposedly more effective if the cervix is already somewhat dilated and effaced. Currently I am at 4 cm, "very thin", and Ilyana's head is engaged. Here's to hoping and praying that it works! The good news, if it doesn't work, is that my OB felt very confident that I'll go into labor sometime this week. Of course it's all guess work, but I'm hoping she's right! She also said that once I'm 39 weeks, if I go into labor and go to the hospital they will keep me even if my contractions slow down again. I'm glad, it's pretty disappointing to keep getting sent home with no baby! I've now gone in to the hospital twice with contractions (third times a charm, right?!). I went in again last Thursday morning. I had started having horrible back labor and contractions about 2 minutes apart around 11 pm on Wednesday. I tried laying down, walking around, drinking lots of water, taking a warm bath/shower, and they kept going. Finally we went in around 3 am on Thursday. They were consistently 1.5-2 minutes apart, pain to the point that I couldn't help but cry through them, we were sure that this had to be the real deal! We got there and I was dilated to 4 cm but her head wasn't engaged so they had me walk around for a few hours in hopes that my water would break, but instead, after an hour or so the contractions started to slow down, yet again. They checked me again before I left and said that her head did engage during that time though. So basically I keep going into early labor and having it stop (the nurse said it's not considered false labor since the contractions are causing me to progress).

In other exciting news, our house is coming along quickly! All of the walls are up, the electrician was in the other day, the plummer should be in this week, and we got to pick out all the colors, flooring, counters, etc. the other day! It was so much fun! Assuming everything stays on track, they are hoping to have it completed in April! We are so excited to be moved in to our new house!

Information about Ilyana:
EDD: February 27th (11 days)

How mom is feeling: Uncomfortable. Come on Ilyana, you can do it!

How dad is feeling: Excited for Ilyana to be out and for baby snuggles! And sad that Ash is so uncomfortable all the time!

Stalled labor

As many of you probably know, I went in to labor last night only to have it stall after about 10 hours of labor. Here's a timeline of what happened:

February 3rd:
11:30 a.m. -had an OB appointment, dilated 2 cm.

9:30 p.m. -started having and timing regular contractions about 10 minutes apart lasting 30 seconds.

11:30 p.m. -contractions had picked up to about every 3-5 minutes, getting somewhat painful, tried both laying down and walking around, nothing made them slow down/ease up.
-Called the hospital and was advised to continue timing contractions and call back around 2 am if they continued.

February 4th
12:30 a.m. -contractions consistently 2 minutes apart, 30 seconds long, couldn't talk or move through them.

1:45 a.m.- finished packing the bag and headed to the hospital.

2:15 a.m. -cervix dilated to 3 cm. but still thick and head not engaged. Advised to walk to see if I continue to progress.

3:00 a.m. -Still at 3 cm. but 90% effaced and head engaged (-2 station). Admitted to hospital. Contractions still strong and consistent.

5:00ish a.m.- contractions starting to slow to about 4 minutes apart, still unpleasant but not as painful.

10:00 a.m. -contractions continue to slow to about every 15 minutes. cervical check shows little change.

12:30 a.m. -Dilated to 4 cm. but contractions have mostly stopped. Decided to go home to wait for labor to start up again.


So basically they explained that it seems like my uterus is ready to be in labor but is struggling to keep the momentum going. At this point we are just waiting for the contractions to pick up again and once they are strong and consistent we'll head back in to the hospital to hopefully have this baby!

We are obviously disappointed to have everything come to a halt, however, we were both exhausted and I was feeling extremely nauseated from being so hungry so this is definitely a good opportunity to refuel and gear up for labor to start again. I was also reminded that my cervix isn't going to regress so at least I've gotten almost half of the dilating done!

I'll keep everyone updated!

Soon!

We've made it to 9 months, 36 weeks! I meant to write this post yesterday but got distracted cleaning all day... can you say nesting??? But really, it sounds like miss Ilyana will be making her grand debut soon! I had an appointment today and the doctor was surprised to find that I was dilated 2 centimeters! She said there is no way to predict when exactly I will go into labor, but to not go on any long car rides and she highly doubts that I will go overdue. Jake and I are so ready and excited to meet our little girl so we are ecstatic about this news! I went and did some walking today (and used a pedicure gift card afterwards!) to hopefully keep things moving along. I talked to my mom a little bit today and she said that once she was actually in labor (she went 2 weeks over with both my brother and I! Yikes!), things progressed pretty quick, so we are hoping and praying that I will be the same (except sooner!). Miss Ilyana should now be about 18.6 inches and 5.8 pounds, about the size of a head of romaine lettuce. She continues to keep her foot lodged under one of my ribs, which, by the way, feels bruised at this point! Her head is down and in position and she is just packing on the pounds (about an ounce a day) until she makes her highly anticipated entrance.
As promised last week, here is a tour of Ilyana's room! Enjoy!

Information about Ilyana:

EDD: February 27th (24 days)

How mom's feeling: LOTS of pressure from her pushing down. Ready to meet my baby girl!

How dad's feeling: Having nightly chats with Ilyana about coming out soon!

Our beautiful little girl!

We've arrived at 35 weeks and Ilyana is about the size of a honeydew melon! Yesterday we got to see our little girl with an ultrasound and they said she is weighing about 5 lbs. 4 oz., which is in the 33rd percentile for weight. She is head down but my cervix is still closed so it will still be a few weeks until her grand entrance. It was definitely a relief to know that everything is going well! The doctor expects her to weigh about 6.5-7 lbs. when she is born. It is so exciting to see a snapshot of what she will look like, and it was adorable to see that she sleeps with her arms up by her face just like me! I am absolutely in love with her adorable little lips! She's going to be so beautiful! Oh, and the ultrasound tech checked, she's still a girl ;)

I labeled some of the features to make it a little easier to see ;)

Last weekend I was blessed with a wonderful baby shower thrown by my sister-in-laws, Jenna and Jessica. It was an adorable circus theme, the food was delicious and we had a ton of fun. I was so grateful to receive a lot of the items we need for miss Ilyana! Jake and I have been finishing putting together the nursery which is almost complete, I'm hoping to do a post on it next week!

We're all expecting this year!

Information about Ilyana:

EDD: Feb. 27th (35 days)

How mom's feeling: I'm so excited to meet our beautiful little girl!

How dad's feeling: Trying to convince Ilyana to come soon, ready to meet her!

Maternity pictures!

Here we are at 33 weeks, these last few weeks are flying by! Miss Ilyana is a little over 17 inches and about 4.2 pounds, about the size of a pineapple! A few nights ago I was finally able to get a video of my stomach moving while the little miss was kicking (my phone can't upload it so you'll have to ask if you want to see it!), it was pretty neat! While in bed the other night, Jake glanced over and saw her sticking out a limb, his face was priceless! This week I've been starting to really notice the effect pregnancy has on my energy levels, I definitely have to remind myself that I'm eight and a half months pregnant instead of getting discouraged by how long it takes me to do different tasks. I've also been having an increasing amount of braxton hicks contractions lately, and some of them have been rather painful! But it's great practice for real labor! This past weekend, our good friend Megan from Sonshine photography was able to take our maternity pictures! We had a lot of fun and she did a great job! I'll put a couple of the pictures at the end of this post. I'm really looking forward to my baby shower this weekend with Jake's family and some church friends. It's going to be a lot of fun, plus it's the last "big event" we have planned before Miss Ilyana's arrival! Speaking of her arrival, don't forget to cast your vote of when she will arrive here!

Information about Ilyana

EDD: Feb. 27th (45 days)

How mom's feeling: Excited for the baby shower this weekend!

How dad's feeling: Freaked out by the belly movements!